Our House Lately

It sure is interesting to be a mom. I feel like every single one of the things I thought I would never do or would never happen to me have happened. I thought that I wouldn't feel guilty because I would have a "handle" on things. I thought that I would be able to MAKE my kids be a certain type of person, like certain things and act in certain ways.
Thank goodness that God knows so much more than I do about raising children. Thank goodness that He is more creative than I could ever be. And thank goodness that He knows best. I need not worry, but persistently seek Him and persistently open my parenting hands and 'let it go'.
So we're working on letting it go! We've definitely had some ups and downs as we've been spending more time together without itineraries. Madeline is taking the semester off from school so that we can breathe and soak in some time before a new baby comes and school is a must!
We've been spending a lot of free play time, yay! But y'all, let me just tell ya, the pretend playing is about to do me in. I can't be Rapunzel or Hans or a chef ONE MORE TIME!
Here she's making everyone hold hands and sing the Grinch song with all the Who's...so cute.

And this one is making them hug and kiss...all the heart eyes :)

She keeps finding herself in photos and saying "Me! Weetle! (little)" Sometimes she finds other babies and claims them as herself too, hehe. 

"Wanna play I Spy? Or Knock Knock? Or restaurant????"

But amidst all the pretend play and all the games and all the chatter and all the glitter and all the dress up, these sweet kiddos are mine and I love them. There's not a single other place I'd rather be, or any thing else in the world I'd rather be doing. I'm so lucky this is my job! Even on the crazy days, I hope that I can still look for the evidences of God's love and mercy and grace upon me. That each little person in our home is a complete blessing and it's so stinkin' beautiful. I hope I never get over it.

Anniversaries and Fireplace Dilemmas

Ok you guys...
No sooner had I written that lovely, gushy post and we had a WWIII day yesterday. All about perspective, right? Thankfully God is chipping away at me little by little, and thankfully His graces are new every morning, because I do believe that everyone in this household needed new graces this morning. 
We did have a busy week trying to prepare for the fire marshall to come today. Yikes!
I was nervous....I don't like being judged, haha.
We spent our anniversary (8 years! Woo hoo!) trying to get the house ready. And the biggest project, installing our new fireplace doors, entailed a plan A, B and C. Luckily by plan C we got it to work, because there was no D option. Sheesh....
Plan A (cute optimistic happy face)

Plan B (uh oh, only one option left)

And finally, Plan C (a chorus of angels are singing)

It took our entire anniversary evening, on top of another evening to get this sucker in. But it's done, and it's beautiful, and it's SAFE, so we're happy.

And the hubs didn't forget about me even though we had to work and parent on our anniversary....

Why yes, that is a box of mac and cheese we made for dinner. You can't win 'em all. Even though this wasn't our most romantic of anniversaries, I felt loved and appreciated by my sweet flowers and a diet coke. He knows me. This is real life, and there's no one I would rather do life with.

So, now the inspection is done (nothing to have been nervous about, he was so super nice), the holidays are behind us, and we are one step closer to adding a sweet little one to the family. It's getting real. Cue the excited, anxious, nervous high fives. 

I think we'll take the weekend to rest and regroup, yay!

Easing into the New Year

Man! Hard to believe that the holidays that we planned and planned for has already come and gone. We had such a nice little break from reality together that I was kind of dreading joining the real world this week.
BUT...
Honestly, it's been pretty great. I didn't realize how much I missed my routine, spending just intentional time with my kiddos, getting the small things done around here. Taking time away from all that gave me a bit of perspective I think. 
My life is sweet. 
I say this not to invoke jealousy in anyone or to act as though I'm better (which I'm totally, totally not), but because it is just SWEET.
I forget that. I forget that often. I'm so grateful to be refreshed so I can come back to my life and feel truly thankful for what it contains. God has been gentle to nudge me towards contentment, and that has been a HUGE challenge to me throughout my life. I will not declare victory in this area, but I will declare victory over yesterday! ...let's not get crazy
As we embark on this foster care journey, I know that there will be things that I will be giving up....activities, free time, just the busy-ness of life. Parts of me have felt nervous about that.
Will I still feel connected to all of my friends if I have to spend more time at home?
Will I still feel purposeful by serving mostly in my own home?
Will I be enough? Will my life be enough?
But, God is so gracious to me. He has been showing me this week that HE is enough, and that's all that matters. Through the games of candy land, reading the millionth story of the day, getting the dishes done, and getting a precious smile from my girls I felt full. I felt full because I felt thankful, and I remained mindful of the Giver of good gifts. 
I want to hold fast to this joy. To grip it so hard and experience it each and every day. 
But I know me, and I know my human nature. I know the struggle I go through to find contentment, how I often look in each and every other nook and cranny to find it before realizing it's been here all along. I know I will stumble and fall again and again.
But today I want to say thank you. I'm thankful for my family, for the job I've been given here in my home, for the small but growing business that God has been faithful to provide for, for the adoption journey and all that has entailed.