My Dear Girls,

I just want you to know...I think about you both all the time. 

How can I be a better mommy to you?

How can I make the world around you "just right"....whatever that may look like.

What's too much? What's not enough?

I want you to stay little forever, but I also can't wait for our relationship to grow deeper and stronger as you grow up and I see you doing new and exciting things. 

How can I convey my love to you? How will you ever grasp what it means to me to be your mommy? I don't think you can. I don't think it's possible to understand until you experience it for yourself. It's so vast, so deep, so unlike something of this world.

There is nothing you could ever do to make me stop loving you. There is no amount of distance, or anger, or mistakes that could ever keep me from loving you just as you are and desiring the absolute best for you. 

I delight in you, just when you are who you are. I love who you are...don't change. Continue to learn what it means to be a better version of who God created you to be already.

Thank you for the gift you've given me by allowing me to have the best, most wonderfully challenging job I could have ever asked for. Thank you for your smiles, your giggles, your milestones and lightbulb moments. Thank you for letting me dry your tears and for letting me be the one to watch you grow and learn.

No matter what happens in life, who you grow up to be, I will always remember you just as you are right now. Perfectly innocent, beautiful little girls...my little girls. 

May your lives truly belong to the Lord as you follow Him and learn of a love even more pure than mine can ever be in Jesus. I'm sorry for the times I will disappoint you, let you down, yell or be less than what you need. But, the God who created you and knows and searches your hearts will NEVER disappoint you. I'm thankful for that, I'm banking on that. 

If you take nothing else away from me, may that be the good news I have for you. As much as I want to love you perfectly, I can't...but I believe in the God who can. He made you with a special purpose, and he made you to carry out that purpose walking in step with himself. I can't wait to watch as you begin to grow into the people who are going to live that out. May I be an encouragement to you and never a stumbling block.

I love you both so much, and I just wanted you to know that. 

XOXO, 

Mommy

You're not a Texan if you don't rodeo.....

so we, as Texas residents for our whole lives, felt it was time to take the girls and us. We haven't been EVER since we've known each other, which is so funny because it's such a BIG DEAL to many around here. So basically we were overdue for some pig racin', mutton bustin', fried food kinda fun. 

We were pumped up for a good time, particularly after an especially trying week. We packed all the things, we got dressed in all the cowgirl cuteness, and we set off EARLY to get a good jump start. Now when I say early, I mean like we left our house at 7:45, which is a feat around these here parts. Everyone was excited, happy faces and happy attitudes.

I would love to say it was a picture perfect day full of education, fun and treats...but that just wasn't our reality. There were meltdowns, hunger strikes, outbursts, and tears. There were moments that I was embarrassed, that I felt like crying myself, when I really and truly just didn't know what to do anymore. I was totally out of control. 

Here's a snapshot that seems calm enough, but in actuality this was right in the throws. Emilia could NOT be satiated with any type of food or water, Madeline was on a total stimulus overload and therefore was restricted back to the stroller for awhile, much to her dismay.

It was a tough day. It didn't go perfectly. I came away tired, thinking, "What WAS I even thinking?". 

But then, as I was looking through the photos to choose which ones to add, I noticed something......

Memories were made this day. Things were experienced for the first time. There WERE lots of smiles, and there WAS lots of fun too. Lessons were learned. Family was valued. Love was shared. 

In this season of life, I want things to be picture perfect. I want to create these pinterest-worthy memories for my kids and for myself. But that's just not real life. Real life is messy, complicated and often leaves us tired, overwhelmed and feeling downright crazy. BUT, it's in all this hard stuff that the real memories are made, where the magic happens....even if the magic only lasts for a couple of minutes. That's what we will remember in five years, not the argument or meltdown.

So though this wasn't a "perfect day", I want to remember the fun we had and celebrate that we SURVIVED the rodeo experience with our babies. Even if we finished feeling like this.....

...poor thing could barely keep her eyes open.